Oscars Menu

More like the AcadamEAT Awards am I right

The Academy Awards are a century-old, deeply silly spectacle that I love very much, and the 96th edition is occurring Sunday night, which means I’ve temporarily broken out of the world of time loops for a little Oscar night detour this week.

As you can see above, I have been doing Too Much for the Oscars for at least twenty years now, and although I have seen all ten best picture nominees (brag), I’m not interested in discussing the films themselves, but rather how I will continue the punny food tradition exemplified by the little “Chex Mix-tic River” sign there. Here’s what I’ve got so far, apologies in advance and maybe turn on a fan because it’s gonna get pretty sweaty:

American Fiction

American Fishin’ (smoked salmon dip with bagel chips)

Past Lives

Fast Chives (sour cream and chive dip with crudités)

Barbie

(Another Shrimp on the) Barbie (barbecue shrimp)

Killers of the Flower Moon

Grillers of the Sour Prune (bacon-grilled prunes with sweet and sour sauce)

Gonna just…let you sit with that one for a few more seconds…

Okay! Now dessert/beverage:

The Zone of Interest

The Cone of Interest (waffle cone ice cream bar)

Poor Things

Pour Slings (virgin Singapore Slings)

A thousand apologies to the films Oppenheimer, Anatomy of a Fall, Maestro, and The Holdovers, this selection process had nothing to do with the quality of of the film and everything to do with how many rhyming words I could think of. Also, I am only feeding a family of four here, imagine the wonderland of nonsense if I were actually hosting a party. I did go further down the road than one might hope trying to make The Cold Rovers into something and on that journey discovered the existence of cold hot dog pie. Not all who wander are lost, you know?

If anyone has their own terrible movie pun foods on deck, please, please, please tell them to me. Or I guess if you make normal food for Oscars night I’ll take that too.